Fairy Tales..

I really don't know how or when my view on fairy tales changed. I grew up as a naive young girl, head full of stories involving handsome princes and happy endings. I held on to the notion that a handsome prince would ride up on his big white horse and rescue me from the cold cruel world.

As I entered my teenage, my naive heart fell helplessly for any 'handsome prince' that happened to glance my way. I so desperately wanted to feel the magic of love that I convinced myself every crush was 'the one'. Although time and again my poor heart was left disappointed, I remained stubborn and determined. I was foolishly convinced that my fairytale would become true if only I kept believing.

Then,somewhere along the way, everything changed. I experienced heartbreak- the worst kind imaginable. The innocence I had held onto for so many years was suddenly snatched out from under me. The pain I felt was so strong, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy.

Suddenly, my fantasy-filled world evaporated , leaving me cold, alone and scared. This time, there was no prince to come to my rescue. There was only me and my newly damaged soul.

That's when I realised I became 'tough'. I stopped caring about everyone, most importantly myself. Somehow, my once compassionate heart became cold. Subconsciously, I wanted to hurt those around me. I lashed out at my friends, my family..everyone I loved. On the outside, I seemed careless and silent, but on the inside, I was dying. I thought it was unfair that I was in so much pain, while those around me felt 'nothing'. I was angry at others for not realising what I was going through. But how were they to know?

I kept on pushing and pushing, and eventually I pushed so hard that I snapped. Finally, I broke down and recognised what was going on inside of me. Once I faced my pain I could finally begin the healing process. Almost a year later, I am able to sit here and write this as a changed person. I've watched the deep wounds inflicted upon my soul slowly fade to scars.

As I pieced my broken heart back together. I realised how much my life has changed. I am no longer the naive dreamer I once was, nor am I the bitter damaged girl after my heartbreak. Slowly, I am regaining the ability to feel again- to love, to trust. Most importantly, I'm learning to respect and love myself again.

The pain of my past has made me a stronger person, and from that I have finally found the strength to leave the past where it belongs- in the past.