A lot of panic and tension had been surrounding me since the past few days. Friendships that were so strong, relations that gave birth to concrete attachments and promises that meant to stay forever, all seem to be falling apart in no time. Not purposely, but suddenly.
I was shattered when I learnt that friends that swore to stay together through thick and thin are finally going in different directions. But with time, I realised that all friendships are unique and even if they don't last forever, they all bring something to your life.
Teenage- When things change so rapidly, from raging hormones to switching subjects, there are many times when relationships are challenged.
I now believe, that it's somewhat a test put forward to us by God to keep our friendships on track during this tricky time.
So actually, this is the time when relationships are being tested. It depends on us completely how much we fight back for our result, to fail or pass.
I think friendships are like fire, a blow of air can make a small one blow out , whereas the same air can instigate a bigger one.
So if your friendship looses the charisma because of time or distance, it wasn't probably that great to hold on to, and you must better move on in different directions-No foul, No harm..! OK, so this is what I've been saying to myself all along. Hope I actually start believing on this too.
Just like I've been fighting with all the challenges of my life, I'll fight with this one too. And just like I've been wining over all my troubles in life. I know I'll triumph on this too. Wish me luck..! :)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Fairy Tales..
I really don't know how or when my view on fairy tales changed. I grew up as a naive young girl, head full of stories involving handsome princes and happy endings. I held on to the notion that a handsome prince would ride up on his big white horse and rescue me from the cold cruel world.
As I entered my teenage, my naive heart fell helplessly for any 'handsome prince' that happened to glance my way. I so desperately wanted to feel the magic of love that I convinced myself every crush was 'the one'. Although time and again my poor heart was left disappointed, I remained stubborn and determined. I was foolishly convinced that my fairytale would become true if only I kept believing.
Then,somewhere along the way, everything changed. I experienced heartbreak- the worst kind imaginable. The innocence I had held onto for so many years was suddenly snatched out from under me. The pain I felt was so strong, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
Suddenly, my fantasy-filled world evaporated , leaving me cold, alone and scared. This time, there was no prince to come to my rescue. There was only me and my newly damaged soul.
That's when I realised I became 'tough'. I stopped caring about everyone, most importantly myself. Somehow, my once compassionate heart became cold. Subconsciously, I wanted to hurt those around me. I lashed out at my friends, my family..everyone I loved. On the outside, I seemed careless and silent, but on the inside, I was dying. I thought it was unfair that I was in so much pain, while those around me felt 'nothing'. I was angry at others for not realising what I was going through. But how were they to know?
I kept on pushing and pushing, and eventually I pushed so hard that I snapped. Finally, I broke down and recognised what was going on inside of me. Once I faced my pain I could finally begin the healing process. Almost a year later, I am able to sit here and write this as a changed person. I've watched the deep wounds inflicted upon my soul slowly fade to scars.
As I pieced my broken heart back together. I realised how much my life has changed. I am no longer the naive dreamer I once was, nor am I the bitter damaged girl after my heartbreak. Slowly, I am regaining the ability to feel again- to love, to trust. Most importantly, I'm learning to respect and love myself again.
The pain of my past has made me a stronger person, and from that I have finally found the strength to leave the past where it belongs- in the past.
As I entered my teenage, my naive heart fell helplessly for any 'handsome prince' that happened to glance my way. I so desperately wanted to feel the magic of love that I convinced myself every crush was 'the one'. Although time and again my poor heart was left disappointed, I remained stubborn and determined. I was foolishly convinced that my fairytale would become true if only I kept believing.
Then,somewhere along the way, everything changed. I experienced heartbreak- the worst kind imaginable. The innocence I had held onto for so many years was suddenly snatched out from under me. The pain I felt was so strong, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
Suddenly, my fantasy-filled world evaporated , leaving me cold, alone and scared. This time, there was no prince to come to my rescue. There was only me and my newly damaged soul.
That's when I realised I became 'tough'. I stopped caring about everyone, most importantly myself. Somehow, my once compassionate heart became cold. Subconsciously, I wanted to hurt those around me. I lashed out at my friends, my family..everyone I loved. On the outside, I seemed careless and silent, but on the inside, I was dying. I thought it was unfair that I was in so much pain, while those around me felt 'nothing'. I was angry at others for not realising what I was going through. But how were they to know?
I kept on pushing and pushing, and eventually I pushed so hard that I snapped. Finally, I broke down and recognised what was going on inside of me. Once I faced my pain I could finally begin the healing process. Almost a year later, I am able to sit here and write this as a changed person. I've watched the deep wounds inflicted upon my soul slowly fade to scars.
As I pieced my broken heart back together. I realised how much my life has changed. I am no longer the naive dreamer I once was, nor am I the bitter damaged girl after my heartbreak. Slowly, I am regaining the ability to feel again- to love, to trust. Most importantly, I'm learning to respect and love myself again.
The pain of my past has made me a stronger person, and from that I have finally found the strength to leave the past where it belongs- in the past.
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